The Desire to Be Valued
As a Software Engineer, I've learned that everyone has a deep-seated desire to feel important and valued. This isn’t just a human instinct; it’s a primary motivator behind many of society’s greatest achievements. In the workplace, acknowledging this can transform our interactions and collaborations.
Listen Before You Speak
💡 When conflicts arise or you’re eager to present your ideas, resist the urge to immediately disagree or interrupt.
Instead, pause and listen carefully to your coworker’s perspective. Ask clarifying questions and let them fully express their reasoning.
Validate Their Contribution
🔑 Recognize and affirm the valuable aspects of their ideas first. A simple statement like,
“I really appreciate how you thought through X, it shows you care about [goal].”
can make a huge difference.
By validating their pride and effort, you build rapport and trust—making it far easier for them to consider your suggestions.
Pitch with Empathy
Once you’ve listened and validated, frame your idea in terms of the shared goal:
“Building on your point about X, another approach we could try is Y, which might help us achieve Z faster.”
This approach shows you’re on the same team and fosters a more inclusive, innovative environment.
Empathy is a superpower in engineering teams. When everyone feels heard and appreciated, the best solutions emerge from true collaboration.